Hey bub, trying being nice

Someone asked me an interesting question the other day. I was asked what I would do if I had a billion dollars.

Other than buy Cuba for my own private stash of cigars and rum, I said, I probably would do a lot of good. And that’s one of the problems of today’s modern society: People are afraid of good deeds. Every time I help someone out, they think I want something or that I have ulterior motives. Is this the uncultured xenophobia we have become. Sadly I think so. We prejudge, we compare, we are our own trends.

Why is real estate so stupidly priced in Toronto? Because people “need” to have a house or a god forsaken condo in order to feel that they’ve achieved a certain level in life? Believe me being a homeowner will not make you feel better about yourself, especially in five years when you interest rates sky rocket—you’ll probably be even more of a pissy prick than you already are. You want to feel rewarded, try and do something good for no reason. Help somebody because they need it and they don’t expect it. Do small things that can make somebody’s life better, or at least make them smile for one moment in their otherwise bleak day. It sucks for all of us, so let’s help each other out. In the end, when your miserable life comes to end you will realize that your overpriced crap-ass condo means nothing. Making a teeny-tiny difference in someone’s life means more and will go a lot further than anything else. I’m not saying donate your whole salary or something like that… it’s the small things. Hold the door for someone, help your neighbor shovel their walk, give your seat on the subway to a pregnant woman, talk to that smelly co-worker nobody likes.

Try it, and feel better. Don’t and remain that selfish idiot who is contributing to the slow decay of humanity through consumption and gluttony.

Have a nice day. :)

What's the deal with kids anyway?

I am starting to wonder if our children are as doomed as we are. Of course, no child asks to be born, but lets look at the state in which most children are born. I can tell you that a great number of children are born into poverty every day in China, India, Africa etc. But I won't tell you this because you already know. You maybe on of this decent souls who sponsors one of these children, for just pennies a day you are providing them with food, an education and medicine. Good for you. What I would like to point out is children in these our "first world"countries.

More and more kids have no reason to be born to their idiot parents. So many couples have a child who can barely afford to stay above the water themselves, never mind support a kid. Of course there is always the baby who will save the marriage. I see that one in particular abundance. This is how is works: Say you have a cheating or simple outright dirt-bag husband,his wife doesn't have the courage to do what she should and leave him, no--instead she gets knocked up. She hopes that being with child will do two things: 1) Make aforementioned dirt-bag pay attention to her thus she feels her love for him is justified. 2) Knowing he will soon be a father, aforementioned dirt-bag's responsible switch will suddenly go on. He will clean up his act, get a haircut and get a real job because as a baby daddy he needs to do the right thing.

Of course if these worked we wouldn't have shows like Maury.Or the Ontario government would not need to pass the law it recently did prohibiting drivers to smoke in a car with children in it. See, a reasonable person reading this is asking "What the deuce? People actually smoke with kids in the car?" Yes they do, in fact so many do it that a law was needed to address this.

If the man is really a dirt-bag or even a douche bag, he has no business having kids--juts image how he will raise his little douche/dirt-bag children? The same can be said for women--there are plenty of dirt-bag women out there too. When my wife was pregnant, during our regular trips to her OB we run into one woman who was seeing the same doctor. This woman already had a toddler and was expecting her second child--of course before and after her visit to the doc she's light up a smoke and puff away while pushing the stroller. Why this woman is allowed to have/raise children is beyond me. Her poor kids will probably turn out to be like her, an idiot.

Do the world a favor, if you're an idiot don't have children.

Reality TV is slowly destroying the planet

All this so called reality TV poo-poo is evidence that people are so bored with their lives that they have to mind other’s people’s business. They enjoy being spectators in the failings of other people’s lives. Why is that? I can’t fathom any reason.

In 1987 a little movie came out called The Running Man. Ten or twelve years later some monkey in a TV executive costume thought what a nifty idea this would be to televise people’s lives and potentially uncomfortable situations. Because everybody knows that the meat and potatoes of reality TV is the uncomfortable situations. It makes people feel better to know that so-and-so was rejected by the bachelorette and what’s her name was voted off the island. But nothing is better than the celebrity rehab shows! Oh what fun it is to zone out on the misery and short comings of the people we zoned out to oh so many years ago. Of course if that’s not your thing you can always watch what happens in a less washed out celebrity’s home. You can watch him figure why his kids are so messed up—yup cameras in your house all day will really not mess them up any more. My personal favorite is when reality TV becomes even more real, like when Kate cheated on Jon and then it was a battle for the eight kids… what a doozy! Soon there will be reality TV celebrity rehab!

Remember when they outlawed public hangings? There was a reason for that, but soon executions will be televised. A few years ago Toronto introduced street cameras downtown (ironically people thought it would invade their privacy), I wouldn't be surprised if they started a new Cops type crime show called Random Street Violence. Anyway they way people are going they'd rather watch someone get beat up on TV than actually do anything to help a stranger in trouble.

Humanity is on a really short leash.

Does the planet really need our help?

Just earlier I was walking through College Park in Toronto, which is not really a park, its more like a mini-mall or shopping edifice. The Metro grocery store had a nifty little sign posted informing its patrons that it was doing its part to help save the Earth. The sign stated that as an effort to conserve energey and evidently save the planet for our great, great, great grandchildren the store had dimmed its lights. This is compounded, of course, on Toronto's new by-law for all retail stores to charge five cents (ahem six cents with the new Ontario HST) for plastic bags.

Of course, there is no money to be made in all these valliant efforts to save our planet (insert sarcastic eye twinkle here). In fact most of the plastic bags we get--or buy--are made in North America. The re-usable bags that stores are selling you at 99 cents etc. are made in China (surpise, surprise). That being said another person in the already financially difficult North America is losing a job to cheap Chinese labor--oh and by the way, what is China doing to conserve Mother Earth? Give yourself a cookie if you said nothing.

Why do I have a feeling that people are being screwed in the hiney by these "green" efforts?

The question is does the Earth really need our help to survive? I don't think so. The Earth has survived far worse than human abuse. For staters the planet survived its own creation through the big bang (look it up), it later suffered a life ending apocalypse when a giant asteroid crashed into the planet, it suffered an ice age. Are we so arrogant that we think we're powerful enough or intelligent enough to destroy an entire planet? No our abuse of the planet's resources will only destory human kind. The planet Earth will endure. Take a ride on the Toronto subway, you may realize that a planet without people may, in the end, be for the best.

Welcome to humanity

A few weeks ago one of my favorite bands, The Zoombombs were in Toronto and came over for their annual dinner at my home. The band leader and my friend, Don Matsuo and I always engage in the most interesting conversations. He suggested that I blog.

I used to blog way back when I was a filmmaker, in hopes of attacting attention and money (mainly money) for my third feature film, Ashita. "The fact is," I told him, "nobody is really interested in what I have to say." And I bet I am right about that. Nonetheless here I am with a brand new blog about why I think this planet is slowly achieving its inevitbale doom. Strike that--why humanity is slowly achieving its inevitable doom.

Every single day I see random acts of stupidy by randomly stupid people. I figured since I can't smack them or tar and feather them, I might as well expose thier perplexing activities/attitude for all to see. I am not talking about random joes on the street--most random joes are rather intelligent and are frankly doing the best they can to survive. I am talking about the larger machine of society that imbeds the very foolishness that will cause the human race to destroy itself or at the very least render us into a state of Planet of the Apes like roll reversal apocalypse.

"You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"